(Source: mtfconfessions)
I just thought of something. If Jesus was born today…in Bethlehem, how accepting would Americans be of him? A 32-year-old man from Palestine who speaks Hebrew and tells you to give all your money to the poor?
Burn
(Source: astrodidact)
“You’re better than this!”
“You’re smarter than this!”
“You’re stronger than this!”
What they’ve basically just said is that if you can’t get over your mental illness on their schedule, then you must just be weak, stupid and bad. Respect for…
That’s not what they are saying at all. They’re saying that they have enough faith in you to beat it.
What’s really terrible is taking someone’s encouragement as an insult.
No.
What’s really terrible is… expecting someone who is suffering more than you will ever understand to “get better,” without putting any effort into what they may need to hear, rather than whatever “encouragement” you may happen to feel like giving.
Your typical 3 year old might get their parents crayons for Christmas, because the child likes crayons. They do what would make them happy and aren’t capable of thinking of a situation from someone else’s point of view. That’s cute when you’re 3. It’s not cute when you’re an adult and someone else’s life is on the line.
(likes and reblogs always appreciated as support)
Wow. The sense of entitlement in that quote is astounding.
What’s really terrible is taking someone’s encouragement as an insult.
First, let me note that providing encouragement does not entitle you to gratitude. Gratitude comes from effective and helpful encouragement… some of the time. Unintentionally insulting ‘encouragement’ fails to encourage. The result - however well intentioned - is that the person you are trying to encourage feels insulted.
As an example:
A cisgender male in our society has soft skin, something he might feel uncomfortable with due to gender stereotyping. A cisgender female walks up to him and tells him “You have such delicate, pretty skin!” and rather than feel good that the girl has said this, he feels emasculated and insulted. The female was not trying to insult the male, but he walks away feeling worse for the ‘encouragement.’
Let’s define encouragement then as something which encourages the recipient. If the person you are trying to encourage feels worse, your ‘encouragement’ is nothing of the sort.
The other day, out of curiosity, I decided to post a profile to the free dating site, Plenty of Fish. I’d done it before en homme, and gotten a handful of responses. I thought it might be nice to see whether I could get more en femme. I was somewhat annoyed to find only two options for gender but since this was for my femme side, I selected female. I posted my profile, detailing straight out that I am bigender maab. I went on to start answering questions on a questionaire. Suddenly the site seemed to be acting oddly for me, submitting my responses wasn’t working quite right and I thought I had been logged out either due to my browser or the site losing my data somewhere along the way.
Instead I found my profile had been deleted. Not two minutes after creating the account, it was gone. I had violated no terms of service I was aware of. I had posted honestly and openly. I was discriminated against. I did some small amount of research to see if perhaps this was some isolated incident, perhaps even an accident or rogue moderator. Instead I found post after post on the internet detailing transwomen in particular who had their accounts inexplicably deleted. In one case immediately after the account owner had reported another member for abusive language their account was deleted and the abuser’s left alone.
I cannot say how common this is on Plenty of Fish, but I can say for sure this is not an isolated incident. I can see from my own situation that it might be difficult to defend the view of an alternating gender identity, but the transwomen I found during my search have every right to call themselves women, and we all have every right to post on a free to all site. The right to discriminate so blatantly on an online forum? Let’s just say I’m not exactly in favor of that, though I personally don’t know anything of the legal precedent (particularly since I believe they insist on arbitration in Canada).
In any case I urge you, my followers (and any who read this in reblog) to email Plenty of Fish denouncing this practice and announce that you will not personally be using their services until such time as they provide them regardless of a person’s gender identity or birth sex.
Also, if you have a PoF account before now and decide to delete it, there is an ‘exit survey’ you can fill out and a blank text box at the bottom to fill in.
As noted in a (possibly semi lost?) reply, OKCupid has a small community of trans should anyone be interested in a free alternative (they also have a superior site design in my opinion, and the questionnaires are much more amusing)
(Source: bluhbluhhugedork)
The other day, out of curiosity, I decided to post a profile to the free dating site, Plenty of Fish. I’d done it before en homme, and gotten a handful of responses. I thought it might be nice to see whether I could get more en femme. I was somewhat annoyed to find only two options for gender but since this was for my femme side, I selected female. I posted my profile, detailing straight out that I am bigender maab. I went on to start answering questions on a questionaire. Suddenly the site seemed to be acting oddly for me, submitting my responses wasn’t working quite right and I thought I had been logged out either due to my browser or the site losing my data somewhere along the way.
Instead I found my profile had been deleted. Not two minutes after creating the account, it was gone. I had violated no terms of service I was aware of. I had posted honestly and openly. I was discriminated against. I did some small amount of research to see if perhaps this was some isolated incident, perhaps even an accident or rogue moderator. Instead I found post after post on the internet detailing transwomen in particular who had their accounts inexplicably deleted. In one case immediately after the account owner had reported another member for abusive language their account was deleted and the abuser’s left alone.
I cannot say how common this is on Plenty of Fish, but I can say for sure this is not an isolated incident. I can see from my own situation that it might be difficult to defend the view of an alternating gender identity, but the transwomen I found during my search have every right to call themselves women, and we all have every right to post on a free to all site. The right to discriminate so blatantly on an online forum? Let’s just say I’m not exactly in favor of that, though I personally don’t know anything of the legal precedent (particularly since I believe they insist on arbitration in Canada).
In any case I urge you, my followers (and any who read this in reblog) to email Plenty of Fish denouncing this practice and announce that you will not personally be using their services until such time as they provide them regardless of a person’s gender identity or birth sex.
So much pressure lately, overworked and tired, looking at all I have to accomplish and the time I have in which to accomplish it in… I know I can do it, can do it well in fact. But the stress Im under and the stress I see ahead are daunting.
On a lighter note, I finally got the go ahead to begin the bigender study stuff! I do need to pick up some labels (they didnt send enough with my hormone collection kit) but thats low priority for this week. Maybe next. Still, it’s exciting as heck :) Yay something to look forward to!